by Ken Root
I have lately found that several people in my life, both friends and family, are having difficulty letting go of lifelong responsibilities even though their physical and emotional health is being debilitated by their actions. Neither of them thinks this has happened to anyone before and they are struggling to pass responsibility on to others.
I had a recent exchange with a friend who farms and has run a business for many years. He loves both but recent feedback from the business has been negative and working outside is challenging his physical health. In reality, he retired from the business and has a son who farms with him who can do all of the fieldwork very well.
He wrote to me: ?My body is on the last lap.?
I responded: ?You have run many laps, old friend. Maybe it’s time to cheer on others? God is pleased with you and your work. Maybe you should quietly agree with him?
He replied: ?I’m not sure how pleased God is, but I can say without reservation, that I tried.?
It is ironic that young people, with sixteen years of schooling, don?t want to start a career and those with forty years of experience don?t want to quit. Many of us love to work. We feel validated by getting up every morning with an agenda. Our habits are engrained and they got us through tough times but a mind that won?t turn off at bed time or a body that won?t turn on at dawn are equally debilitating to our well-being.
If you look back at our ancestors, they faced all the same maladies but without modern medical care. Imagine their thoughts when their bodies began to break down and there was nothing they could do but just endure the pain. We now can take all kinds of medication and have heart surgery or joint replacement that brings quality of life roaring back.
From the emotional aspect, an aging pioneer surely thought the world was going to hell just like we do. They yearned for the days of being young and felt new technology would weaken their children and grandchildren. Society did change; most of their children left the farm and moved to better housing and higher paying jobs. As far as I can tell, we are still doing pretty well.
Let?s review the middle class, rural America, master plan: ?We want our children to have a better life.? That includes better education, straighter teeth and safer vehicles. We have succeeded in spades! Our kids live all over the world and have complex and colorful lives. Their careers are diverse and their lifestyles and relationships are often disappointing. So what can we do about that: ?Absolutely nothing!?
This brings me back to letting go. When you love someone for who they are, rather than who you want them to be, you both feel better. It is hard but it?s what unconditional love is all about. Look at the millennials and watch their politics. They love socialism! Bernie Sanders probably won?t win the democratic nomination but the demographics of this rising group in society indicates another candidate with his views will do so in the not too distant future. Again, what are we going to do about it? ?Absolutely nothing!?
I am facing my own mortality just like everyone else who crosses the magic number for Social Security. Now that I get a check from the government, I like it. My fifty-three years of paying in is now paying off. Why should I be unhappy? I see young people who have enjoyed the fruits of my labor and don?t have a work ethic. They want more from the government than they are willing to pay in. I sadly smile and think that they won?t have a check coming when they are my age and the upheaval in the political system they will endure will be immense.
So why are seniors unhappy with our status in life? We have been in charge for forty years with a checkered social and economic track record. We shouldn?t be proud of the way we acted in the ?60?s and ?70?s, what diseases we propagated in the ?80?s and who we fought to maintain our oil addiction. We now have enough wealth, personally and from the government, to live at a much higher socio-economic status than when we were young. We have giant flat screen televisions that bring us the world with a liberal or conservative slant and we can get drugs that treat everything. What?s not to love about that?
Finally, there are young people who are willing to work as hard as we did. I see them every day. They are determined to succeed and make a better life for their children. Let?s cheer for them! There comes a point in life when have to realize you aren?t playing or coaching. Your only choices are to cheer or boo. Life can be pretty good as a spectator sport.
